My Only One

Disclaimer
I have took a old post and reposted it, if ure someone from the past please do not read this post....its nt meant for u, to my special one, i know u wnt read this, but if u are please read no more....lastly tis are all my feelings, while i cannot stop u from commenting or havin opinions to reply i do hope u respect me enuff to jus leave it at it is...



I have always felt when others feel down, serendipity or weirdness i do not know but i know that love lets you feel this for your one special one....will there ever be someone whu flutters over me...someone who calls because they feel i feel down...i lost grip on love a long time ago yet my hands seem glued to the rope of memories...i cant seem to forget you, i love you too much...each day i wake up i tell myself today is a new day and today will be a good day..yet at the end of each day i lie and miss you so much and regret that today too was another day where i never talked to you never saw you...i do not need the whole world to say they love me, nor do i need alot of people to like me, but to have the only one i want to like me hate me is a painful thing to have to grin and bear all my life..as much as you have shut me out i try to do the same, i do not view ur frensta page each day worshipping your pics from afar...ure profile is viewed only by frens i am not ur fren so even if i am weak i cant view it....i do not read your blog anymore because i do not want to anger you further....i do not msg you neither do i email you...but how do i shut out my heart...can anyone help me please...
How do you tell the one who hates you so much that you love her so much? How do you tell her i've made mistakes in the past yet i know i can be better, and i will be better coz you make me better? Is this love? I wrote this with you in mind yet now i cant seem to get you off my mind...for better or worse till death do us part i will love you....

I lost myself the day i lost you... i lost my confidence the day you went away...i do not need anyone but you...i am afraid to see you because i do not want to see you holding someones hand....i do not want to hear how someone else is there to hold you when ure scared, i do not want to let anyone catch the tear i am supposed to catch...i do not want to wake up anymore, in my dreams i always have you....i do not know what i am doin what words my mouth utter becuase my mind is preoccupied with missing you...i hear the tales people tell me about love and as much as it is nice to hear i want to yell shout please stop, please stop cause each time u complain that he never called today to say i love you i remember how i cna never ever hear it? coz each time u complain shes busy today, i remember shes always too busy for me, cause each time you tell me how she did something sweet for you i only know that i will never ever feel it...

I write all this in the confidence that u have stopped readin this blog, my whole likfe is irony, the words i want you to read or hear are those that will never reach u yet those said harshly or those i never meant alwya reaches you....i love you alot...i really do not have the ability to forget you, i do not have the ability to move on...all i ask for each night is you....i made my mistakes, i pushed you but i jus wanted you to see whats out there...i know u see it too but i want u to face it coz it wld have made u stronger, i never pushed u into a pothole just to know that its bad, i jumped in first and let u see what its like...i hurt you alot i know and its these regrets that i see each time i see the mirror...i'lll wait lifelong for the day u say u like me too, or till i myself am not able to hear anymore...whichever comes first...to borrow gwen stefanis line dont speak......each time i hear u say u dnt like me it kills me... guess i have had enuff said...will u ever say u'll give me a change...will u ever talk to me again???